I thought I would be happier

I was watching the pre-market trading and hanging in the chat room when someone asked me what I thought the market would do now that a plane had flown into a building in NYC. I turned on CNBC (which I never watched despite a demand that I had to) and saw that a plane had flown into not just a building, but the World Trade Center. I went to my bedroom and said to my wife “some moron just flew into the World trade Center”. She said “what?” and rolled back over for some more sleep. Once the second plane hit, the speculation of an “accident” was all but gone. The futures tanked and then were halted, and the market wouldn’t be open for a week.

During that week, my life changed forever. I saw my President tell us we were at war. I saw people in the US hating countries rally in the streets and burn my flag. The next week I started my three year battle with anxiety and panic attacks that started on my way into the city chasing a false promise. A few days later I heard that someone was telling my co workers that I was “hiding under my bed” afraid of the next terrorist attack. I will never forget that betrayal as long as I live.

As “bad” as it was for me, it wasn’t anywhere near close to as bad as it was for those that lost their family or friends. My issues could be cured with a pill. For those that lost loved ones, the wounds will NEVER heal.

I couldn’t wait until we caught him, brought him to trial, and executed him in public. It didn’t work out how I wanted it to, but I’ll take the result as is.

I’m glad I was alive to see this day, but I thought I’d be happier. Instead it just brings back the memories of how miserable, scared and hopeless I felt. I’m so glad my kids weren’t born yet to see me like that.

Early the next year U2 did the greatest Super Bowl halftime show in history honoring those that died because of those cowardly scumbags. If they were real tough guys they’d have picked a bar fight with a Navy Seal or two. We saw how well that worked out for their leader.